Can't have nice stuff!

I have a good job that lets me buy nice stuff sometimes. I have a new-ish car. That is nice, but someone thought it would be nicer if they poked a hole in the rear taillight during my business management final. I have another older car. It's pretty but not as nice, and gets only 8 mpg on 91 octane gas. I have a horse. He is usually nice, as long as the chiropractor is not involved - which is most of the time lately. I have this brand new computer. I thought it was nice, but the built-in wireless card sucks monkey-butt. That's right, you heard me. Monkey. Butt.

As I typed this first paragraph, it disconnected five times. I'm a fast typist - 65 wpm, according to my most recent certificate. My wireless woes don't stop there. I like downloading podcasts, and I can only get about 10% at a time until the connection cuts out. This computer is fresh out of the box. Like any girl, at first I kept telling it, "it's not you, it's me." Later, I would repeat those words in my head, while showering it with patient and loving attention. I even brought in outside help, allowing my boyfriend to toy around with it.

I blamed the router. I blamed the duplex. I even tried blaming the black widows - who knows where they plant their egg sacs sometimes! Now it's time to blame the real source of the problem. In case you never hear from me again, I just want you to know that first it took out the phone lines so I couldn't call for help. I think that spider's ghost has taken over my computer's brain through the wireless connection ... it's just a matter of time ...